The Night Was Filled With Music (Journal Entry)

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The air was filled with fireflies though I was indoors.The brick walls all around me were cheering my name. String lights and wine glasses surround.My soul floated a few inches away from my body as it embraced the audience.My knees began to shake faltering and melting into the ground, but somehow I kept standing. I realized this was an adrenaline high.This is what it feels like to do what you were meant to do; to finally submit to your God given gifts.To be fully exposed for all to see your interior paint. I had been stuffing it for so long. This eve was the eve that marked the first time I accepted who I am. As I opened my mouth to sing, outsiders came back inside. As I finished the first song, all I could do was step back from the mic and soak in their faces. They clapped for me and for some odd reason I clapped for myself. I think because my body was telling me to, while my soul was still floating above my head returning to its proper place. I was mindlessly walking away from the mic still attached to the amps, when I heard voices saying, “MORE MORE!!!” So I step up again, and sing another. The second time around, I had a wave of confidence and like when you step off a roller coaster, screaming “let’s go again!”, I wanted more of that feeling. I couldn’t let it go so easily. It had to go on. 

I wrote this so as to never forget the night that I got over my fear and sang in front of people; just me and the guitar. I wasn’t the best I have ever been. I wasn’t the best singer in the world, but tonight I did something that made me feel like I was the best version of myself. God is to thank for that. I had prayed for an awesome night this week, and he came through! I was so excited when I realized what God had done, that I screamed in my car on the way home. I am pretty sure a few people cursed me out for my driving too. I just wanted to record this moment so that I can come back later, when things are rough and never forget what this feels like. It’s truly amazing what God has done tonight. For others it might not be.

All took place at a cafe and market called Myrtle Tree in Monrovia, CA  Friends were present, this night was special it was filled with music.

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